Crazy little thing called love: The science, the mystery and the fun of it all

In Plato’s Symposium, the physician Eryximachus observed that both good love and bad love exist in the human body, and that medicine can show the body how to distinguish between the two. Centuries later, philosophers, researchers and other inquiring minds continue the mystifying work of defining love and addressing its effects on the loved and love-stricken. To mark Valentine’s Day, we’ve rounded up some heartening–and disheartening–insights and theories into this crazy little thing called love. Chemistry matters Some people point to chemistry as an important factor in their decision to pursue a relationship with a potential partner. As in “we had chemistry” or, conversely “there was no chemistry.” Today science tells us chemistry does matter when it comes to affairs of the heart. Studies over the years have found people in the early, attraction stage of love have elevated levels of cortisol, dopamine and its related hormone norepinephrine. At the same time, serotonin levels drop, affecting mood and in some cases making it hard to sleep or eat. As couples move from attraction into the attachment phase of their relationship, their serotonin levels go back to previous levels. But their brain chemistry continues to evolve, with increasing levels of oxytocin–often referred to as the “cuddle hormone”–and vasopressin, a peptide believed to mobilize physical or emotional action and which may be tied to defence and protection. Read: The soap opera need Guess who says it first? A common assumption is that women tend to be first to say “I love you” and that they feel happier to hear those three words. Yet a 2011 study led by researchers from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, University of Minnesota and Singapore Management University found otherwise. As part of the study, researchers asked one group of participants whether it’s men or women who say “I love you” first. About 65% said women say it first. But researchers asked a second group of participants who said it first in their past relationships, close to 65% said it was the male in the relationship who confessed first. In a survey of a third group of participants who were asked the same question about their current relationship, more than 70% said the male partner said “I love you" first. Fun fact: The study also found that men were happier than women when they were told “I love you” before having sex for the first time with a new partner. Women preferred to hear “I love you” after their first sexual encounter with a new partner. Read: Docs dating A cure for love sickness? Researchers at Emory University in Atlanta found that blocking a stress response hormone called corticotropin-releasing factor stopped depressive behaviour in prairie voles whose partner had died. However Larry Young, the study’s leader, doesn’t recommend taking this approach to address someone suffering from unrequited love or the loss of a loved one. Instead Young suggested exercise to amp up dopamine, as well as social interaction and physical contact to raise oxytocin levels. Because love has the same neural base as addiction, Young told a New Scientist reporter, finding a new fix could be an effective way to treat a love-related malady. Multiple studies have also suggested taking acetaminophen can ease heartbreak. But a research at Ohio State University also found acetaminophen can reduce positive feelings while it dulls negative ones. Read: Saving your marriage ... yourself The continuum of love and hate The people we love the most are often the ones who can push us to our saddest, most stressed out or angriest limits. In some cases that deep love can even turn to intense hate. In a study published in 2017 in Frontiers in Psychology, researchers found that stronger feelings of love were associated with greater hate after the relationship ended. There were nuances to this conclusion. Study participants who reported the highest degree of love rated their level of love to be higher than their level of hate after the relationship broke down. Whereas those who did not love as much initially rated their post-relationship level of love to be markedly lower than their level of hate. Read: Sexual side effects

Crazy little thing called love: The science, the mystery and the fun of it all

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