Pharmacists who drive me crazy

“Why can’t you change my watch battery? The pharmacist at the Central Valley pharmacy could.” The lovely 80-year-old Italian lady (with her grandson in tow for support of her endeavor) was quite upset with me. I then found it necessary, for some reason, to explain that I did not have the appropriate equipment to pry open the back of her water-resistant gold watch to change her battery, and that the jack-knife scrapings on its back were likely a result of the last attempt to change the battery, resulting, no doubt in the failure of that “water resistant” feature. I then found it in my nature to suggest several locations where I knew she could get the battery changed properly for under $18. Pharmacists: always helpful, always problem solving. In a response reminiscent of my Scottish father, she screwed up her face in distaste at this suggestion. If you are that pharmacist who changes watch batteries, I just want to stand beside you and repeatedly click my multi-clicker pen until you sense my disapproval. (Common sign of aggression or discontent in a pharmacist). I am the egg man “What! No eggs left?” A patient angry because there are no eggs ($5 for free range) or zucchinis (free—wonder why?) available for pick up from the pharmacy where the regular guy in a white coat usually leaves them. How can there be no eggs at the pharmacy? My thumb is poised over the multi-clicker. The hang around and wait-er “I’m on the highway now. I know you close in five minutes, but I’m only 20 minutes away…the other pharmacist always stays late so I can pick up my medication…that I pick up regularly every two days.” (OK, that part was just in my head). Unfortunately for this individual, over his cellphone I can hear a Wendy’s staffer asking if he could “please place his order.” I know the nearest Wendy’s is 40 minutes away. No, no, no! I can tell him I have already worked 60 hours this week and my family is ready to drive onto the ferry without me to leave on holidays, but he won’t care, to be frank. No. Multi-clicker is in tachycardia mode. The pen stealer A pharmacist co-worker used up every colour of the multi-clicker pen except the red. I don’t like to use the red, as it makes me appear angry. Which I am not. Write with your own darn multi-clicker pen. The drug plan hoop-jumper Pharmacist co-worker who can bill a Free-Style Libre to two provinces away, get it covered, and still have time to explain to the patient how to use it without their hair turning grey: “You just have to call Alberta Blue Cross; only on hold for maybe 30-40 minutes, and even though you have the benefit card in front of you presented by the patient, they will ask you to add three zeros to begin, a Z at the end of the numbers and remove the dash from the hyphenated last name. Or some other random configuration… it changes with every group plan number.” My multi-clicker is silent… beyond belief. The impatient patient pleaser “Now, I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job, but please explain to me why it took you seven hours to put a label on that inhaler which I get every month just walking in here and asking for it. That other guy would have done it in 10 minutes.” The newly graduated pharmacist then explained how we had to type all the correct information on the label as he actually had no repeats, and that in fact we had 150 faxes ahead of him at the beginning of the morning and some rather pressing hospital discharges, so this was the fastest we could manage. “Well at least you put a label on it and explained how to use it, I was kinda not sure in the past.” I have mentally tossed the still-awaiting 150 faxes into the air in a confetti storm, as of course the fax machine has continued to spew all day. Meanwhile, the new grad pharmacist is still holding his cool and ringing in the 20 front store items along with the long-awaited inhaler. The parting shot from the patient: “You know I live all the way on the east end of the island, and I had to come back for this!” I jab my pen into the counter and don’t say that the east end is 7 km away. If you drove the circumference of the island, you would be hard pressed to clock 24 km. The pharmacist with the very big shoes “Where’s Jason?! I only speak to Jason!” Well, Jason, (named changed to protect the innocent), is on his first holiday break in 15 months. Click goes the phone line. Crickets, as my brother would say. Radio silence. Which is fine with me. We actually started a pool at this store amongst the staff for when “Jason” is away. Points for how many times a customer will ask for “Jason” or refuse to speak to anyone but “Jason.”. We get bonus points if they immediately hang up, or if they ask for “Jeff.” That one particularly cracks me up. I thought the assistant who bet on over 80 “Jason” requests in five business days was crazy, but I lost to her. She nailed it. He is one popular guy… so hard for the rest of us… stop being so amazing! It's time to dial it back Having recently hit the metaphorical wall, I was pleased to read Kristen Watt’s blog, Keeping up with COVID (I’m not, actually). I know all of us feel like we have not been keeping up. The opening up of restrictions just meant we got slammed after, in her words, “our Herculean efforts” to get through the last 16 months. I unfortunately don’t have time to read those helpful links, unless it’s a link for where I can buy multi packs of multi-clickers. We are all are doing our best, but it is just not enough in the eyes of some of the public. We need to dial it back. Stop trying to be Hercules. I have suggested to many that now that we actually had graduates licensed this year, so why not dial your work week back to four days, shut your phone/device off after 6 pm every day and carve out time for your life again. Reduce your pharmacy hours. I know one emergency room physician who works seven days a month. It’s a rough seven days at the most challenging ER in the province. But it’s seven days of go-go-go; sleep and recover for two days; then, life. I know we are all doing amazing things. Let’s find a way to be amazing for only so many hours a day‑it’s too exhausting trying to keep up with you all.

Pharmacists who drive me crazy

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More Blog Posts in This Series

My nights at the Midnight circus

Burning down the healthcare house

Am I a quack?

Blog Author

Corrine Wilson