Have you ever felt disrespected?

Ask a doctor about disrespect, and you’ll often hear about moments that surprised them and stick with them—comments that stung, behaviours that escalated, or systemic practices that chip away at their pride in their profession. These episodes don’t overshadow the compassion and gratitude doctors encounter every day, but they do illustrate a growing tension in modern practice. Across specialties and career stages, physicians are navigating a landscape where respect is uneven, and where they are forced to balance vulnerability, professionalism and the realities of a strained system.DR. SHEHNAZ PABANIFamily physician in Sudbury, Ont.Having graduated from the University of Toronto and completed a family practice residency there, I started my career as a fully fledged physician in Burlington, Ont. My practice included shifts at the local hospital ED, obstetrics, surgical assisting/hospital care and a comprehensive office practice. Apart from initially having to prove my clinical skills, I soon became a respected member of the medical community there. It was not until I moved to Northern Ontario to join my husband that I had to make much effort to convince the majority male consultant specialists to help manage urgent unstable cases encountered in the emergency department.As the only female physician (racialized too) working in the department, the diagnoses I conveyed to consultant specialists were often disbelieved over the phone. Upon finally seeing the patient themselves and realizing that the diagnosis was correct, I would be asked, “How did you know?” I often resisted answering that I was trained at one of the best medical schools in the country!These experiences early in my career, I believe, have resulted in having developed an “Imposter syndrome:” the belief that when I correctly diagnose a condition in a patient, especially if it is a rare one requiring clinical skills, it is by chance or luck!Similarly, some patients whom I encounter for the first time may doubt my assessment and treatment plan. Some are quick to complain about the care they receive whether warranted or not, if they do not get whatever they desire—unwarranted antibiotics or narcotics, referrals or imaging and testing. Chart reviews show previous visits with male physicians declining similar requests without any consequences.DR. JOSEPH BURLEYPsychiatrist in Kingston, Ont.Many years ago, I announced I was going to leave my family practice to train in psychiatry. (In those days, I could easily find someone to take my practice.) One day I was on the neonatal ward examining a baby when a nurse walked up to me and said, “What a waste,” and then turned and walked away. Her comment was like a blow to my solar plexus. I have never forgotten the feeling. Patients with personality disorders have said disrespectful things in the midst of poor emotional control like “You are a liar,” or ”You have the empathy of a stone.” There are many instances in a lifelong practice when, often out of anger, frustration, suffering etc., people have been disrespectful. However, there have been infinitely more instances when people have treated me with empathy, compassion, respect and gratitude.DR. MELISSA LEMVancouver FP and past president of Canadian Association of Physicians for the EnvironmentOne of my given Chinese names, (pui), means “worthy of respect,” so the concept of respect—and disrespect—is one I’ve considered my entire life. As a family physician, I provide patient care in both acute and longitudinal healthcare settings, and as an advocate, I work boldly and visibly at the intersection of health and climate change. That means there are endless opportunities on any given day for me to interact with people and organizations whose values and opinions differ from mine. Having differences of opinion is perfectly fine—but disrespect is not. I’ve been sworn at, had my experience and knowledge derided and had objects thrown at me, literally and figuratively.Whenever I’m disrespected, I invariably remind myself that it’s not about me. It’s about the systemic and social structures that permit disrespect, bad industry actors looking out for their own profits and power, fear of change and sometimes just the fact that someone in front of me is having a really bad day, week or year.My first step is to try to understand the roots of someone’s disrespect to better manage and prevent it, while also realizing that coming to a mutual understanding isn’t always possible. Sometimes the other side isn’t willing to move forward in good faith. I also find that the temporary sting of disrespect then motivates me to work and communicate more clearly, collaboratively and strategically to better overcome opposition the next time.Being able to successfully navigate disrespect, though at times painful, sets us up for personal and professional growth—and is a good reminder of the respect we should strive to show others.DR. MALCOLM BRIGDENSenior medical oncologist in Kamloops, B.C.We are constantly reminded by little repetitive indignities of how our services are actually valued and perceived on a daily basis—from being required to pay for parking at the hospitals we uniquely service to exorbitant and unnecessary annual licensure fees. This, coupled with the total lack of portability of credentials across Canada and the seemingly endless, repetitive diatribes from administration about sociopolitical issues rather than our dedication to science and healing, routinely and painfully illustrates the value that society in general—and by extension certain elements of the public and government—places on our unique skill sets.It is a pattern we see all too often. At the beginning of my training a number of decades ago, medicine was an avocation, not a vocation, and physicians and master clinicians—with their arcane knowledge and unique skill sets—were treated not only with respect but with a kind of awe. While I would not want to return to an era when everyone stood up as the chief of service entered the room, I am sometimes bemused by how we are now often regarded as a manipulable and expendable commodity that can be allocated and manoeuvred by governments and administrators as they supposedly—and expediently—see fit. It does not surprise me at all that younger physicians who in many ways are more sophisticated and in-the-know than we “oldsters,” are voting with their feet and avoiding primary practice like the plague, instead opting for niche markets, hospitalist roles or some other area where they can define their own destinies.DR. CARLOS YUFamily physician in Ajax, Ont.This is such a relevant topic, especially in a time when respect and communication in healthcare are being re-examined from so many angles. I find this discussion has two sides: one is patient behaviour that might be seen as disrespectful; the other is my own perception—when I as a physician feel disrespected or take offence. For me, these are often different experiences.A story comes to mind. Years ago, a patient arrived upset that the secretary had asked him to update his health card. He began by telling me, “My forefathers owned this land you’re standing on.” I simply listened and asked what I could do for him. As we talked, the conversation turned to his diet and reflux symptoms. When I pointed out that his forefathers likely ate more naturally, he smiled. By the end of the visit, as I was charting, he called back down the hallway: “Doc, I’ll get you that health card first thing Monday!”Moments like that remind me how quickly things can shift when we meet someone without taking offence—when we stay focused on care rather than reaction. I’ve also had patients come back later to apologize for something they said, and I often don’t even remember the incident. My job, as I see it, is to look after them—not to carry their difficult moments as personal wounds. Of course, boundaries matter. I make it clear that my staff must be treated respectfully and occasionally I’ve had to enforce that. But for the most part, people respond to being seen and not judged.DR. CARMEN EADIESemi-retired family physician in Surrey, B.C.Where shall I start? 1977: Just married and a man in his 50s asked, “Why does your husband let you go to medical school?” I didn’t know this man, but he thought his opinion was important to me. I told him if my husband thought he could control my education and my career goals then my husband would have to find another wife. 1978: Pregnant and in third-year med school. Patients and attendings often thought I should just quit and go home and be a mom. When I went to work in a small town in B.C. in 1984, the door said, “Female Doctors’ Change Room.” I opened it to find a janitorial closet complete with a mop and pail. 1982: In the ER, a patient came in and as I was taking a history etc., a male nurse entered the room and the patient said, “Thank God, a real doctor, I can’t talk to this 15-year-old pregnant teenager who’s pretending to be a doctor.” I was 29 years old, practising for three years. I can go on and on.Many people disregarded my education, skills and professionalism just to comment on my sex, appearance and ethnicity to make me feel “less than” so they could be “more than.” All these people knew I was a doctor or med student and they still thought they could disrespect my hard work, goals and achievements for whatever reason. The only comment I heard about my male colleagues was “you look kinda young.” Now that I’m older (44 years in family medicine), it’s a whole lot of other stuff.DR. JOHN FERNANDESA family physician in CalgaryIf you think you have not been disrespected as a physician, don’t worry, you have, but the disrespect has become so “normalized” that most likely you don’t even notice it. Lately I’ve been catching myself pausing at the bottom of forms. The spot where I’m supposed to sign used to say “Family Physician.” Now it says “PCP” or “HCP.” Every time I see it, I feel a small sting. It’s subtle, but it says a lot about how the profession is being slowly watered down. We used to take pride in the word “physician.” It meant something. It still does, or at least it should. But the language keeps shifting, and not by accident. The push to lump family doctors together with everyone else in “primary care” isn’t about teamwork or respect. It’s about cutting costs. When Danielle Smith (Alberta Premier) said that nurse practitioners “do 80% of what family doctors do,” it wasn’t just wrong—it was disrespectful. It showed how little understanding there is of what we actually do. We don’t see “80%” of the patient. We see all of them—their history, their family, their context, their patterns. We make hard calls when there’s uncertainty. We take responsibility when things go bad.Family physicians don’t need fanfare. We need honesty. We train for years to manage the messy, unpredictable side of medicine—the part algorithms and protocols can’t handle. The least anyone can do is call us what we are—with respect.DR. GILLIAN ARSENAULTRetired family physician in Maple Ridge, B.C.MD 1976 here, female with beige skin and occasional blotches. I can’t remember getting any grief from any of my patients in my family practice, nor from my colleagues. However, a few zingers from people who didn’t know me: A male patient in the ER that I’d just seen said: “That nurse was really nice, but when do I get to see the doctor?” A middle-aged male rushing up just behind me to the side of a cyclist who had fallen off his bike: “Stand aside, lady, I’m a Boy Scout leader!” Male mechanic checking in my car for service: “Is that Miss or Mrs.?” Me: “Actually, it’s Dr.” Mechanic: “Oh, right, lady, is it Miss or Mrs.?” Middle-aged male patient of an older male doctor for whom I was doing a locum: “I’m not seeing any G-D broad!”One of my older male colleagues had a droll sense of humour. I considered it a great compliment when he tried it out on me. It was a beautiful sunny day, and the two of us were the only ones in the doctor’s lounge. My colleague was reading the paper and I was getting a cup of coffee after having been up most of the night on call. Dr. X (from behind his paper): “Women shouldn’t be doctors, they should be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen!” I sat down with my cup of coffee and thought about it. If I wasn’t a doctor, I wouldn’t have been on call, and I would have had a half-decent night’s sleep. I could be barefoot if I wanted, in my own kitchen, with sunlight streaming through the windows. I could be making my own (much better) coffee. I could even be baking muffins. Me: “You know, you might be right.” Dr. X emerged from behind his paper. “What? What? Here I am stuck waiting for an X-ray and you were supposed to keep me entertained—what do you mean, I might be right?”

Have you ever felt disrespected?

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