Stop having kids and see a financial planner: ER doctor's advice leaves suicidal postpartum mom feeling ashamed

Delsie Martin was hoping to get help. Six months after giving birth to her son she continued being plagued by thoughts of suicide so, on a Sunday afternoon in August—when “my thoughts became so overwhelming and they were racing so fast”—she asked her husband to take her to the Neepawa Health Centre in southwestern Manitoba. But instead of providing treatment or referrals to other services, the emergency department doctor who attended to Martin gave her two pieces of advice: stop having children and go see a financial planner in the United States. "He gestured to my husband and he said, 'Look at this wonderful man sitting here and your two children at home. You have no reason to be depressed,'" Martin recounted for a CBC News story. Read: Postpartum mental health visits up 30% during pandemic During the 20-minute visit, she told the doctor she was taking medication for postpartum depression and that she had also suffered from it after the birth of her first child, who is now two years old. After asking her what kind of birth control she was taking, "He said that I shouldn't have any more children," she added. When she talked about the other stressors in her life, including child care, schooling and money, Martin said the doctor responded with “You think you know what financial stress is? I have financial stress” and suggested she call a financial planner in the U.S. “(He) said that if I get financial planning (and) if I don’t have babies, I’ll be fine,” Martin said. Read: Understanding the early-life origins of suicide: Vulnerability may begin even before birth The doctor ended the visit by telling her that “nobody can help you, you can only help yourself.” “He’s correct,” said Martin. “But the postpartum depression brain only heard ‘nobody can help you.’” Jaime Charlebois, co-executive director of the Canadian Perinatal Mental Health Collaborative, said Martin’s experience is not unique and that Canada is in dire need of a national perinatal mental health strategy to guide healthcare practitioners on when and how to screen postpartum patients, and what treatment options are available. "There are so many gaps in our system that places the onus on these individuals . . . to seek help themselves, when they are struggling so severely," she said. "This is just unethical. In other places around the world they have screening programs, they have perinatal mental health specialist teams, they have mother-baby psychiatric units in case a woman requires an in-patient stay." Read: Mental health experts say Canada should have a three digit suicide crisis hotline These resources might have been helpful for Martin on that Sunday afternoon. Instead she left the hospital feeling ashamed, judged—and worried another patient close to suicide might get the same treatment and actually end up dead as a result. Having worked as a social worker and mental support worker, Martin knew what happened to her was not right. She called the hospital to ask the doctor’s name. When she didn’t hear back, she wrote a letter to the patient relations department of the regional health authority with jurisdiction over the hospital. A department staff member subsequently reached out to Martin, who said she felt satisfied there would be a discussion with the emergency department doctor about how the experience affected her. "I hold no anger, no malice, toward this doctor at all, because I honestly believe he thought he was doing the right thing,” said Martin, who said she is now getting great care in her home community. "I don't think he knew how much he was hurting me. But that's what's scary." Read: Pregnant patients should be screened for iron deficiency, study suggests

Stop having kids and see a financial planner: ER doctor's advice leaves suicidal postpartum mom feeling ashamed

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