My descent into pickleball

“You should try pickleball, Mark. It’s way more fun,” suggested my good friend Jeff.“When I can’t play squash anymore, that’s when I’ll try pickleball.”“OK Mark. Suit yourself.”Well, that time has come. My recent shoulder x-ray showed moderate arthritis in my glenohumeral joint, a massive bone spur and the ultrasound revealed a plethora of disasters, including tendinitis and ‘osis, my subscapularis tendon gone AWOL, and a biceps tendon no longer sliding in its groove. I quickly googled shoulder replacement and proceeded with a few weeks of physio, which in fact was more painful than my own pain, some rest, ice, exercise and a steroid injection. My 40-year squash career had come to an end, but I am now in heaven playing pickleball. Jeff was right! My journey into racquet sports started in childhood. I was pretty good at ping pong, mediocre at tennis. As a medical student at the University of Toronto, I recall using the squash courts at Hart House once. When I first took my kids to a resort in Mexico, I defeated my then-nine-year-old son Benjamin in the resort ping pong championship. Not sure whether I should have let him win. The prize, a bottle of rum, is still aging.My next memorable opponent was my dad, a revered pediatrician, who lived in a condominium with a racquetball court. He was a gifted athlete, more so than I, and we played many competitive and exhausting games together. I didn’t let him win either. He did it on his own. His condo championship trophy, circa 1985, still sits proudly on my bookshelf.Before I go any further, let me clarify the spelling of the word racquet. It’s a bit like the word check, or cheque. I prefer the latter. More elegant. Some insist on spelling it racket, which to me denotes a loud, irritating noise, or a nefarious mob-like enterprise. But both are acceptable.I’m sure you’re familiar with most of the other racquet sports, like ping pong, badminton, squash, racquetball and tennis. If you’re quite happy playing one of these, then read no further. But if you are looking for a great game to play when your rotator cuff rebels, or in retirement or even before, read on.Pickleball was invented by three guys in Washington state in 1965 but has only reached epidemic proportions in the last few years. It can be played on a concrete surface, wood, like a squash court, or rubber, both indoors and out. The dimensions of the court are 44 feet long and 20 feet wide, or 880 square feet. Just a bit bigger than a million-dollar Toronto condominium. That is about half the size of a tennis court but much larger than a ping pong table. The boundary lines resemble those of a tennis court, though the singles and doubles boundaries are the same. Unique to pickleball is a “non-volley zone” up front, or NVZ, affectionately known as “the kitchen,” which has its own plethora of rules which are beyond the scope of this article. Suffice it to say that if you step into the kitchen at the wrong time, you are in a pickle without a paddle! Pickleball courts are popping up like weeds and are often available to the public at little or no cost.For 40 years, I played squash, both singles and doubles, with walls—front, side, back, and in the case of racquetball, the ceiling. It made my high school geometry almost worthwhile. Now, no more walls to contend with—just a net, and lines. The net is 36 inches high, and needless to say, it gets in the way of many of my unremarkable shots, especially my backhand. On occasion, the ball will linger on the cusp of the net, vacillating as to whether to fall back, or drop forward for a lucky point.The ball used in pickleball is about the same size as a baseball. They come in bright yellow or orange, and are perforated—they have holes, between 26 and 40, sort of like the wiffle balls we whacked on the driving range before getting into medical school. The outdoor balls have more holes so that they can cut through inclement weather.Finally, the racquet, or perhaps more accurately, the paddle. They can be made from wood, graphite, carbon fibre and other space worthy materials. I suppose you get what you pay for, and the price might range from $40 to $400. I am reminded of many golfers who swore by their new $1,000 driver in the delusion that their shot on that par 5 would go long and straight. In my humble opinion, a “good” racquet is not necessary to enjoy the game.The combination of the ball and the racquet can make quite a racket, especially if there are several courts in use at the same time. While this may be music to the ears of the pickleball enthusiast, it has been the impetus for several class action suits launched by irritated, adjacent homeownersThe rules, in a nutshell, resemble the other racquet sports. You may choose singles or doubles. I prefer doubles. Games are to 11. You have to win by two. There is no “love” like in tennis, just a lot more laughter. While I don’t think I’m yet cognitively impaired, the score and the side I’m serving from usually escape me. I am not alone. The strategy for pickleball is simple. Return the other guy’s shot and hit the ball where they ain’t! Well, there is a bit more to it than that. For instance, there is “dinking,” which involves hitting light, shallow, precise shots just over the net, often in a diagonal direction. The goal is to prolong the rally, prevent your opponent from smashing the ball back at you, and wait for him or her to screwup first. The most exhilarating action takes place right at the net, as opponents whack the ball back and forth at the speed of light. Quick reflexes are essential.Thankfully, getting hit by the yellow, perforated plastic ball stings only momentarily, unlike the excruciating pain and bruising from a squash ball. I would recommend protective glasses. Apparently, and not surprisingly, pickleball injuries are on the rise—knees, shoulders, tendons. Well, that’s what happens when you move. I’m now playing five times a week. My shoulder is a lot better than it was, and hopefully, my Parkinson’s journey will be slowed by a few years.Besides the balls, racquets and rules, the learning curve for pickleball is relatively short. If you are emigrating from another racquet sport and have decent eye-hand coordination, then pickleball will be a breeze. And even if you don’t, you’ll pick up the game quickly, make new friends, and more importantly, have a lot of fun. Of course, if you are planning on excelling, then lessons and practice might be in order.So, there is light at the end of your OHIP, EMR, LDL, CMPA, PSA tunnel. Check it out on YouTube. I’ll see you on the court.Dr. Mark Wise is a retired physician residing in Thornhill, Ont.

My descent into pickleball

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