Kyle, you are not alone . . .

Over a long medical career, I have treated quite a few patients who’ve suffered physical or sexual abuse. These traumatic incidents manifest in a litany of mental illnesses, sometimes very treatment resistant. Anxiety, panic attacks, depression, substance abuse, self harm and suicidality. I’ve seen many who never seem to reach the goals they should have achieved. Strings of broken relationships, self destructive behaviours and seemingly poor life decisions are hallmarks of their careers and social lives. Sad lives full of unfulfilled dreams. Sometimes the truth comes out and we can try to deal with it directly. Many times these secrets are never revealed as these traumas eat away at these folks from the inside out. Medically, we try our best to manage the symptoms we see knowing there is a greater truth at the core that we cannot access. We see a broken patient in front of us but are powerless to fix their problems. This week, Kyle Beach’s announced that he was John Doe, the professional hockey player allegedly sexually assaulted some 11 years ago by a Chicago Blackhawks video coach. The news quickly spread, crashing into the hockey world. There’s a lawsuit involved, a GM and coach have resigned after the results of a legal investigation and the hockey team has been fined $2 million. A decade later, the case has finally gone to the highest level of the NHL and is getting the attention it deserves. Social media is buzzing about this story. A lot of opinions have been given and overwhelming support for the bravery that Kyle has shown to make his name public. In so many ways and on so many levels, the hockey world let him down, from the administration and leadership team, to the players association, to the medical personnel to his fellow players. Read: Tales from the fringe: the uphill battles of creativity and chronic disease care Hockey is known for its culture of violence, toxic masculinity and ‘winning at all costs.’ Doing research for this blog, I read about the horrific rites of passage that many players have had to survive over the years. The “hazing” rituals of the hockey world have somehow survived from from another barbaric era. Read about Akim Aliu, a Nigerian-born Canadian hockey player who stood up against these cruel customs only to have seven of his teeth viciously knocked out, be labeled a ‘trouble maker’ and have his career railroaded. I remember when former player Sheldon Kennedy first came out in public about being sexually assaulted by a coach. While his playing career never achieved greatness, his life has transcended his sporting career as he’s committed his life to bringing the issues of physical and sexual abuse to the forefront while supporting victims. Kyle, as so many others have said, I’m so sorry that you were abused, ignored when you disclosed and were unsupported by the people and the game to which you dedicated your life. Thank you for standing up and going public. We cannot change the trauma you experienced but can hopefully change the culture of hockey at every level so that it’s safer, more inclusive and a game we can love. I wish you the best and hope that by speaking your truth you will find some peace and closure. May this be a big step towards your healing process. You deserve to have a long and fulfilling life. Read: Steps we can take to improve access to family medicine But, this isn’t just a hockey story. We can point fingers at ‘all those guys’ and sanctimoniously claim the higher ground. But are we in some ways complicit? As a medical professional, I have a zero tolerance for physical and sexual abuse and am committed to identifying and treating it. Have I always done this? How effective am I at achieving this goal? How supportive have I been to my patients who have confided in me? It’s hard to look back 10 years (or 20 or 30) and say that I’ve always been attuned to these issues. While my current medical career involves folks in the 2SLGBTQ+ community, I haven’t always been perfectly open and inclusive. It’s been a learning experience and I hope I’ve matured as a doctor and as a husband, father and grandfather. It’s certainly easy to judge. It’s so much harder to be judged. Kyle Beach’s story should force us all to evaluate how we are conducting ourselves personally and professionally. Are we consistently standing up for our patients’ rights and freedoms? Are we always calling out racist, sexist, homophobic and xenophobic jokes and slurs? Read: Stop charting evenings, weekends and holidays As MDs, are we role models in not only our medical communities, but in our families and communities at large? I feel guilty as I know I can do better. I never want anyone I know, personally or professionally, to ever feel alone and unsupported when I could have made the difference. Dr. Ted Jablonski is a singer-songwriter, emerging playwright and neophyte poet who has recently retired his family practice to focus on sexual medicine and transgender health in Southern Alberta. He now finds himself back on the front line trenches leading the charge against the COVID pandemic.

Kyle, you are not alone . . .

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Ted Jablonski