Cottaging this weekend? Here are 8 tips for sharing the family cottage

Ah, the tranquil lake. The breeze in the trees. The morning cry of the loon. It’s here and now: cottage season.If you’re one of the lucky few Canadians who own a cottage–a Statistics Canada report from 2002, the latest on file, pegged cottage ownership at 7% of the population–then you may be reading this from your favourite perch on the cotty dock. You may also be sharing that favourite perch with one or more family members, whose claim to the cottage goes back to the days when you were fighting over who gets the top or lower bunk. You might still be fighting today, or at least negotiating constantly over who gets to use the cottage this weekend or next, or whether your new step kids should even be allowed to use the cottage on their own. So how do you ensure that the family cottage stays peaceful and familial? Peter Lillico, a partner at Lillico Bazuk Galloway Halka–a Peterborough, Ont.-based law firm that lists cottages among its areas of practice–offers eight tips for sharing the family cottage.1. Agree on the basics of cottage sharingAt its most basic, successful cottage sharing boils down to getting two key things right: responsibility and usage. When it comes to responsibility, Lillico says it’s important to detail how cottage expenses are shared among owners, who takes care of tasks such as opening up and closing down, and all the other to-dos associated with the upkeep of the property. Lillico says there are many ways to divvy up use of what is essentially a family timeshare property–from allocating by date to laying down a first-come-first-served rule. In the latter, whoever arrives first gets to take over sleeping quarters while latecomers pitch tents and bed down in sleeping bags.“But if you’re going to allow overlapping usage, you need to make sure you all share a similar vision of cottage life,” Lillico added. “If you have one brother who views the family cottage as an inner sanctum of peace and another who sees it as party central for him and his friends to jetski and drink beer all week, that’s not going to work.”2. Don’t fall short on your long weekend strategySome families take a rotation approach, where family members each have a chance to enjoy one or more of the long weekends between May and September. Others prefer a draw, often using low-tech methods that involve writing the dates on bits of paper then mixing them all up in a bowl or cup. “And some families believe that nobody should get to hog the cottage on holidays and regatta weekends–these dates are open to everybody,” said Lillico. “It doesn’t matter what system you come up with; what matters is that it’s clear and that everyone agrees to it.”3. Make sure your sharing practices fall within the lawHave regular family meetings about acceptable–and legal–use of alcohol and cannabis, especially when you’re giving younger family members exclusive use of the cottage. Before telling your 18-year-old nephew that you’re cool with him using the boat next weekend, check that he has the proper license and that your insurance company allows you to lend out your water toy.“You need to know the difference between boats that require a boating license and ones that don’t,” said Lillico. “And come up with safety rules, like maybe somebody under 18, even if they’re very capable, shouldn’t be out in the boat alone for more than an hour. Or yes, this kid can have use of the boat to go fishing but he can’t go pick up his four friends to party on the boat.”4. Teach and enforce cottage etiquetteEver tried to fire up the cottage grill only to realize the most recent occupants used up all the propane? How about that time you opened the fridge door and almost got knocked out by the odoriferous punch of milk and raw chicken way past their expiry dates?Just like everything else in life, cottage sharing is always nicer when it’s wrapped up in the niceties of etiquette. Lillico says it’s a good idea to post a code of cottage behaviour on the refrigerator door–or a similarly conspicuous and high-traffic spot–listing rules and requests such as taking away all garbage and recycling, topping up the barbecue and boat fuel tanks, putting out fresh towels and bed linens, and clearing out food and beverages that may spoil before the next users come along.“Even when your sister says she’s coming in a couple of days, you should probably clear out that milk that’s set to expire in case her plans are delayed,” Lillico added.5. And speaking of enforcing: Lay out some consequencesThis isn’t Las Vegas. What happens at the family cottage … well, just no. Whether the offence is allowing rowdy guests to break the stained-glass lampshade grandpa made in his retirement years or failing to contribute an agreed-to share of this year’s roof repair bill, there should be consequences for poor cottage behaviour, said Lillico.Families typically go for a three-stage, ascending level of consequences, he added. The first stage may be a written notice of offence or payment default, which also provides an opportunity to make reparations or set up a deferred repayment plan. Should the offence repeat or the non-payment continue, the family can decide to escalate to a next-level consequence. This could involve taking away use for an upcoming date or, in the case of payment default, adding interest to the debt.“And should the problems continue, then families can move to the third and last resort, which could be suspension of all usage until the problem is resolved,” said Lilllico. “If it doesn’t look like the problem can be resolved, then maybe the family meets and agrees to a forced buy-out of the person causing the problem. But hopefully, it won’t come to that.”6. Appoint a cottage managerCottage sharing tends to run more smoothly when there’s a central point of command and coordination. Depending on the dynamic and make-up of each cottage clan, the role of cottage manager can be taken on by the most organized family member or rotated among a core group.Those who prefer to let one family member take charge of managing the cottage might also want to discuss how to compensate this person fairly for their efforts, said Lillico. This compensation could be in the form of extra cottage days, priority status for use on a certain long weekend, or a lower share of cottage upkeep costs.7. Bring in the technologyIt may be time to retire that calendar you get each year from your cottage country butcher–the one you all use to mark off the days you’re planning to come up for some deck-and-dock therapy. A lot of families are now using cloud-based shareable technologies such as Google Calendar to let everyone know who’s got this Wednesday and Thursday reserved, or who’s cancelling their week in July, said Lillico.He recalled how one cottager–an engineer–tried to develop a cottage management software but gave up on it because of the complexities of pulling all the moving parts into a single platform. Lillico’s advice: stick to tech everyone is comfortable using.He encourages families to hop on video conference platforms such as Zoom to ensure cottage meetings happen regularly, instead of waiting for when everyone is available to gather around the campfire. 8. Set it all in writingWhether it’s ballpoint or digital, ink matters in family cottage matters. Lillico says it’s important to document the cottage sharing agreement and get everyone to sign on the dotted line. For a growing number of families, these agreements are created and finalized as legally binding documents that become part of the family estate plan. Legal costs for creating cottage sharing agreements vary between law firms and depend on the complexity of family structures and dynamics. Lillico typically charges about $3,000 to draw up a cottage agreement. Some are simple while others require numerous revisions.“I’ve done cottage agreements for multiple generations,” he said. “Each one is unique because every family is unique, but the most important thing is that the agreement exists and that makes it easier for everyone to enjoy the family cottage. When families can’t agree on how to share, that cottage that their parents or grandparents built, and that holds so many happy memories of their childhood can become such a bone of contention that in the end, they end up selling it to strangers.”

Cottaging this weekend? Here are 8 tips for sharing the family cottage

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