Are physicians’ children entitled? How do you keep them grounded?

Every print issue of the Medical Post includes the Solve My Problem feature. Here, from the April print issue, three doctors tackle:“Are physicians’ children entitled? How do you keep them grounded?”A ROOF, FOOD & CLOTHESWe are very, very blessed to have grounded children with good hearts. But we have no qualms about reminding our children that the only things they’re “entitled” to are the roof over their heads, the food in their mouths, the clothes on their back (which normally come from Winners or Costco) . . . and maybe not needing to wait for medical attention for minor problems (there are days I’m sure my wife would have preferred she married a plumber or an electrician).Everything else is a privilege earned either through hard work at school or chores, and can be taken away in a heartbeat. We threw out more than a few toys over the years to make a point, and unplugging the modem remains an incredibly useful way to get our children’s attention. —DR. FRANK WARSH, a investigating coroner and retired FP in London, Ont. BE MINIMALISTSMy husband and I are both minimalists when it comes to clothing, gadgets and other “extras.” We let ourselves buy anything second-hand but rarely go with new stuff, telling our boys there are more than enough clothes in the world and that those boutiques are awfully expensive. They know we give a lot away, and they help us decide how to use my income to reduce poverty through charities and the hospital foundation. Rather than go out, we will cook a nice meal as a family (homemade ravioli and chocolate made right from the beans are big hits) and they understand that restaurants are treats and big TVs are very expensive (so we don’t have one).At some point our boys will be deciding how to spend their own income, and we hope they have absorbed some of our values—or at least those of the farming families they meet in 4-H and school. But for now, my husband will patch their clothes, we’ll cook up nice meals together and look for ways to serve the community. We’ve chosen not to have the “Joneses” in our social circles, so there’s not really anyone to keep up with. Apparently, I’m not as cool a mom as their 4-H leader, who has a sheep farm . . . and we’re happy to keep it that way. I guess ultimately, it all depends on their reference point and we have flooded their world with people we consider the salt of the earth. They are 9 and 11 now; one day they will know there’s money in the bank but that doesn’t have to happen now. —DR. AMY HENDRICKS, a general internist in Antigonish, N.S. SET LIFE-LONG EXAMPLESFirst and foremost, as physicians, work hard to keep your own egos in check. Set life-long examples by volunteering, living simply and treating all you encounter with respect and tolerance. Our children were taught to give back to the community they are so fortunate to live in by volunteering at our YMCA and various assisted-living facilities. This was seen as a privilege, not a burden. When old enough, insist they have jobs. Say “no.” It is not a bad word. Expensive clothes, toys and holidays are not necessary. And finally, keep them in public schools, not private exclusive institutions. One day they will thank you for helping them become valuable members of society.—DR. JOHN PASTERNAK, an FP in Medicine Hat, Alta.Next ProblemA patient is slurring me on social media: What can I do?Send solutions to cleslie@ensembleIQ.com by May 14.

Are physicians’ children entitled? How do you keep them grounded?

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